Today I am riding a rollercoaster between ecstatic gratitude and the crushing certainty that essentially, when all is said and done, I suck. What would happen if I was grateful for my essential suckiness? Oh, I could go get all kinds of Pema Chodron with that, but I'm too tired.What I want to know is, do YOU, my rapt multitudes, also essentially, certainly suck? With this question in mind, I ping-poinged through my day.
Today the dog ate an entire loaf of "artisan" raisin/pecan bread. Nothing left but the bag, and a soggy heel that I discovered (to my dismay) under the couch. I was really looking forward to that bread. Asshole. And don't you tell me it's no good telling a dog he's an asshole and waving sad tattered ex-artisan-raisin-bread bags at them. There are very few beings in my life that I can shout and wave garbage at who will only look at me sadly and hang their heads. It's one of the many things I appreciate about our dog.
I will end my day trying to relax despite the 30-foot (I am not exaggerating) paper chain coiled like a festive anaconda on the couch, the despicable state of my brand new beautiful kitchen floor, and the always-regenerating certainty that I suck.
No comments:
Post a Comment